On this page you'll find examples of some of the correspondence we've had recently through the Ask Lisa
page. 

We hope, by reading these examples, that you'll get a better idea of how we approach providing Elder care. 

We have changed the names of people and places to protect the confidentiality of those who have written in. 

Virginia writes; 

My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease 4 years ago and has been living in her home in Toronto assisted by a homemaker 3 times per week. We are at the point now where we need full time help.

At present she is bathing herself but needs prompting for hair grooming. She is able to make simple meals but that is deteriorating. I would like to have someone live-in, if possible and would like the number of people looking after her kept at a minimum. Is that combination possible?

I look forward to your reply. 

Virginia 

Lisa responds: 

Dear Virginia,

Thank you for your inquiry.

First, let me tell you that we no longer place live-in caregivers. We have in the past and we are still involved with the clients and caregivers who we assisted and so I can share the details about the care and business arrangements.

Live-in caregivers receive a weekly salary ( $400-$500/5day week). They provide assistance with activities of daily living. They require a separate bedroom from the client and are required to get up at night to assist a client a maximum of 2 times per night. (otherwise you are looking at daytime and night time help) They are entitled to vacation time and statutory holidays with pay. The employer must register with Revenue Canada as well as with the Workplace Safety and Insurance Board, and pay all remittances due.

In your situation, you would also require weekend Elder care assistance for your mother.

We are in a position to offer care by the hour, overnight, and temporary live-in caregivers (maximum 3 weeks). We also provide weekend relief live-in caregivers.

Another care option you may want to explore is a day program, where your mom could be in a social situation with planned activities during the day. There are several excellent programs in Toronto that include transportation and meals.

I hope this has been helpful.

Lisa. 

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Mark writes; 

Hi!

My friend, who lives in Ajax, Ontario has recently had her mother move in with her. Her mom is in her mid 70's and is in relatively good health (still drives) . 

However, my friend, a single mother of special needs 4 year old daughter, is finding herself increasingly overwhelmed at working as a teacher full time, managing a home and caring for her daughter and mother. Her mother helps her financially with the home, but little else.

Are there any resources in the area-classes, help groups, etc.- that my friend might seek out to help her better cope? She is actually moving into a depressive state and has just been placed on an antidepressant by her physician. Any resources I can direct her to would be greatly appreciated.  Please e-mail me with any info you might have. Thank you kindly.

Lisa responds: 

Dear Mark, 

Thank you for your e-mail.

Your friend sounds like she could use some "caregiver relief".

On a practical level, your friend would certainly benefit from some assistance around the provision of care for her child and also some housekeeping relief. I recommend opportunities for her to have some time alone without care giving responsibilities, perhaps regularly scheduled time off for exercise, socialization, reading or other personal activities.

She may be able to access caregiving assistance through the community care access centre as well.

She may also want to seek counsel with a social worker.  She can contact the community care access centre or her local hospital to find someone.

I hope that this has been helpful.

Lisa.

Ed writes; 

My father is disabled and is currently caring for his 98 year old mother
at home. 

My grandmother is NOT capable of doing any of the following: toileting, feeding, personal care, walking and is often delusional. She has been to see a gerontologist who suggested that my grandmother needs "rehabilitation" ... although for what he was not clear? 

The situation is causing extreme stress.

My parents live in a home that has stairs. In order to bring my grandmother from the room on the main floor, my father, who has a very bad back, has to carry him with the assistance of my mother. The physical wear and tear on my father, not to mention the emotional wear and tear, is stripping him of a healthy life. 

My parents are at my grandmother's "beck and call" 24 hours a day. She cannot be left alone for any length of time. My parents no longer have any life of their own as a "sitter" has to be arranged in order for them both to go out together. 

The Red Cross sends a worker for a couple of hours a week ... that is all the assistance they are getting at the present time. Finances are limited as my grandmother only has a small pension to live on. Can you give me any suggestions as to where to turn for help? I would appreciate any information that you could possibly give me to help my parents and my grandmother. 

Thank you, 

Ed 

Lisa responds: 

Dear Ed,

I have a couple of suggestions for you and your family. (I am assuming that you are in the Greater Toronto Area.)

You already have contact with the Community Care Access Centre, CCAC. 

They are the Agency that has arranged the hours of care through the Red Cross. Firstly, contact the coordinator responsible for your grandmother's care. The maximum number of hours available per week is generally 14 hours. However, coordinators may make increases at their discretion, for example: caregiver relief for your dad.

Some agencies provide a sliding scale of their fees for people in financial need. I believe that the Red Cross is one of those.

You already realize the importance of giving your parents some relief. See if they can "buy" some time at a reduced rate from the Red Cross or other agency on a regular scheduled time. You and your siblings(?) may want to schedule regular relief hours with your parents as well.

If your grandmother is a Veteran, or was married to a Veteran, she may be entitled to some financial support for care as well.

If your grandmother's health status is considered palliative, she would be entitled to added service hours through the CCAC. You may want to access the services of the Palliative Care Outreach team, through Mt. Sinai Hospital. This requires a physician referral.

Lastly, you may want to consider an appointment for your grandmother with a Geriatric Outreach Team. These health care professionals are available for a home visit and can suggest other appropriate services that would meet your family's needs. There is no charge to you for this visit and many people find this visit very helpful. You can contact the Regional Geriatric Program for a team near you. (The Rehabilitation Institute, Baycrest Centre both have outreach services)

I hope that this gives you somewhere to start. If you have any further questions, please contact me again.

Sincerely,

Lisa Wiseman

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Harvey writes; 

Hello! I am Melissa's son.

I hear that you will be looking after my mother, which is terrific news. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. e-mail is the easiest way to reach me - I check it frequently. 


Two things to tell you. One, I will be away in Bali and Australia June 16-July 7, but will be checking my e-mail regularly. The other is that I hope to arrange a get-together of a few of my mother's friends for her 83rd birthday, Aug 20. It is not a surprise, and in fact I think she may make some plans for it herself.  But I want to be there soon enough to relieve her of any stress associated with preparations for that occasion.

Harvey 

Lisa responds; 

Good day Harvey

I met with your mother in January of this year on the recommendation of the health care team from the Regional Geriatric Program. She wasn't prepared to consider any assistance at that time.

Yesterday she agreed to have a caregiver/companion for 4 hours each day for 5 days per week. She had a list prepared of caregiver activities. That's a good sign!

In any case, my job now is to find a "match" for her. I am looking at our caregivers in order to find someone who has the time available that your mom has suggested ( 8am - 12noon), the skills required to accomplish the activities she has set out and most important of all, who would be a good personality match.

Sincerely,

Lisa Wiseman